Duboka Je Noć: "Parking" | Deep Is The Night: "Parking" | Zbirka Kratkih Priča. Collection of Short Stories. Un recueil de nouvelles

 

Parking

Građanin Radonjić je izašao iz svog stana sa kutijom za alat i sa rancem na leđima. Izašao je iz zgrade i sišao je na parking. Otključao je svoja kola i otvorio je prvo gepek, zatim i sva ostala vrata. Spustio je kutiju za alat pored sebe, Skinuo je ranac i iz njega je izvadio ćebe. Ćebe je postavio na asfalt i počeo je da vadi alat iz kutije.

Građanin Zvrdović se vraćao sa posla. Bio je ćelav, znojav i nervozan. Vozio je bahato da bi što pre stigao kući. Napravio je i par prekršaja za koje misli da ga kamera nije snimila. To ne bih mogao da komentarišem. U svakom slučaju građanin Zvrdović je stigao na svoj parking.

Da, to je isti parking na kome građanin Radonjić popravlja svoj automobil. 

Kada je građanin Zvrdović video da se na mestu gde parkira svoj automobil, nalazi ćebe i da njegov "odvratni komšija", Radonjić tu uopšte stoji, on se još više oznoji i pobele od jarosti.

Zvrdonjić stade i iskoči iz automobila ali se nekao, skidajući brzo pojas zapleo, sapleo i pao direktno na svoju masnu, veliku ćelavu i oznojenu glavu.

Građanin Zvrdonjić je izgubio svest. Kada je dolaazio k'sebi, prvo što je video su oči građanina Radonjića koji ga je žvalavio, pokušavajući da mu da veštačko disanje.

Građnin Zvrdonjić se toliko zaprepastio, da mu se ceo svet smučio i on nehotice i sam možda ne želeći to, najsnažnije udari u glavu građanina Radonjića.

Sada je pao u nesvest građanin Radonjić.

Ipak i pored svega, građanin Zvrdonjić nikako nije mogao, niti je hteo, da građaninu Radonjiću pomogne veštačkim disanjem. On se uhvati za svoj mobilni telefon u nameri da pozove hitnu pomoć.

Tada vide da su oči građanina Radonjića otvorene i da on sa besom gleda ravno u njega. Građanin Zvrdonjić je primetio da ga građanin Radonjić samo gleda ali da ne mrda.

-  Pa ajde' ustaj... - procedi kroz zube Zvrdonjić, pokušavajući da sebe prilagodi empatičnom tonu. - Uh ala smo napravili sranje... - on napravi glupu grimasu.

- Građanska prava... - jedva izusti građanin Radonjić.

- Šta? Građanska prava... ti si majmune stavio ćebe i alat na moje parking mesto... - da nisi povređen zgazio bih te po sred lica.

- Tužba!!! - građanin Radonjić je pokušao da se pridigne i da još nešto kaže ali snaga ga je izdala i on je samo besno buljio u građanina Zvrodnjića.

- Šta ti je... 'ajde ustani bre čoveče... šta ti je?! - sada već malo zabrinutije Zvrdonjić pogleda Radonjića.

Radonjič ponovo izusti:

- Tužba!!!

- Ma' marš u pičku materinu! - odvrati Zvrdonjić i ode pa izvrnu ćebe i obabaci ga sa sve alatom na automobil gospodina Radonjića, potom se vratio mirno u svoj automobil, seo, zatvorio vrata i upalio motor. Krećući se ka svom parking prostoru on pregazi građanina Radonjića.

Da, da, znate to da je sada dozvoljeno da se pregazi onaj koji ti je na putu.

Posebno je to dozvoljeno ako taj neko ugrožava tvoju ličnu svojinu a posebno prostor.

Molim lepo, parking mesto, ometanje da se pravilno i lepo parkiraš, ugrožavaš sebe i druge automobile... šteta bi mogla biti velika.

Radonjić je prekršio zakon i postavio je ćebe na nedozvoljeno mesto. Posle toga je kako tvdri Zvrdonjić bio seksualno zloupotrebljen dok je bio u nesvesti. 

Tvrdi i to da je očajan otrčao i pobegao u svoj autombil, gde je doduše, malo nesmotrenom vožnjom udario Radonjića koji mu se maltene isprečio ipred automobila.

Stvar je čista a taj deo grada je mračan i prljav a i slabo naseljen. tu i tamo po neki živi stvor. Najviše ima pasa lutalica i skitnica...

DEEP IS THE NIGHT

"Parking"

Citizen Radonjić left his apartment with a toolbox and a backpack on his back. He left the building and went down to the parking lot. He unlocked his car and opened first the trunk, then all the other doors. He put the toolbox down next to him, He took off his backpack and took out a blanket from it. He placed the blanket on the asphalt and began to take the tools out of the box.

Citizen Zvrdović is returning from work. He was bald, sweaty, and nervous. He drove arrogantly to get home as soon as possible. He also committed a few traffic violations that he doesn't think the camera saw. I could not comment on that. In any case, citizen Zvrdović arrived at his parking lot.

You can guess it is the same parking lot where citizen Radonjić repairs his car.

That's right, it's the same parking lot, and you're sure to guess that citizen Radonjić and citizen Zvrdović will clash in some way.

Yes, citizen Zvrdović, when he saw that there is a blanket in the place where he parks his car and that his "disgusting neighbor", Radonjić is even standing there, sweats even more and turns white with rage.

Citizen Zvrdonjić suddenly braked and jumped out of the car, but somehow, quickly removing his seat belt, he tripped, tripped, whatever you wanted, and fell directly on his fat, big bald head.

Citizen Zvrdonjić was unconscious, and when he came to, the first thing he saw was the eyes of citizen Radonjić, who was chewing on him, trying to give him artificial respiration.

Citizen Zvrdonjić was so startled, that the whole world was disgusted with him and he inadvertently and perhaps not wanting it, hit citizen Radonjić on the head with the strongest force.

Citizen Radonjić is now unconscious.

Despite everything, citizen Zvrdonjić could not help citizen Radonjić with artificial respiration. He grabs his cell phone in an attempt to call 911.

Then they see that citizen Radonjić's eyes are open and that he is looking directly at him with anger. Citizen Zvrdonjić noticed that citizen Radonjić was just looking at him but not moving.

- Come on, get up... - Zvrdonjic said through his teeth, trying to adjust himself to an empathetic tone.

- Oh, we did shit... - he made a stupid face.

- Civil rights... - citizen Radonjić barely uttered a word.

- What? Civil rights...you monkey put a blanket and a tool in my parking spot... - if you weren't hurt I would have stomped on your face.

- Lawsuit!!! - citizen Radonjić tried to stand up and say something more, but his strength failed him and he just stared furiously at citizen Zvrodnjić.

- What's the matter, come on man... what's wrong?! - Zvrdonjić looked at Radonjić a little more worried now.

Radonjic spoke again:

- Lawsuit!!!

- Fuck it! - replied Zvrdonjić and went to twist the blanket and throw it with all the tools on Mr. Radonjić's car, then he calmly returned to his car, sat down, closed the door, and started the engine. Heading towards his parking space, he ran over citizen Radonjić.

Yes, yes, you know that it is now allowed to run over the one in your way.

This is especially allowed if that person threatens your personal property, especially your space.

Parking space, hindering you from parking properly and nicely, endangering yourself and other cars... the damage could be great.

Radonjić broke the law and placed the blanket in an illegal place. After that, Zvrdonjić claimed he was sexually abused while he was unconscious.

He also claims that he ran in despair and fled to his car, where, admittedly, he drove a little recklessly and hit Radonjić, who jumped out in front of his car.

The thing is clean even though that part of the city is dark and sparsely populated. Here and there some living creature. There are mostly stray and stray dogs...

***

EX EX

"Bez Ločnica"

Keywords: Duboka Je Noć: "Kosta Na Crti" | It's A Deep Night: Kosta on the Line | Zbirka Kratkih Priča. A Collections Of Short Stories Duboka Je Noć: Iza Ogledala | Deep Is The Night: Behind the Mirror | Zbirka Kratkih Priča. A Collections Of Short Stories EX EX - Sila Knjiga Book New Book Literature Književnost Pismenost Proza Poezija Kratka Priča  ЕX EX : "Bagminton" 'instrumental rock' Дубока Је Ноћ:  "Симонида и Она" | Deep Is The Night: "Simonides and She" Profonde est la nuit : "Simonide et elle" Дубока Је Ноћ:  "Зуб" | Deep Is The Night: "Tooth" Duboka Je Noć:  "Vojna" | Deep Is The Night: "Vojna" EX EX: Your Green Eyes Duboka Je Noć:  "Tužba!!!" | Deep Is The Night: "Lawsuit!!!""Margaret je pred Vratima" Radio Drama EX EX "Bez Ločnica" Supernaut