Ex-Yu: London | Ex-Yu: London | Sećanja | Memories - savremena proza. literatura. contemporary prose. literature. prose contemporaine. littérature.

 





Sebastian Sava Gor

“EX-YU”

“ Taština nad taštinama, veli propovjednik, taština nad, taštinama, sve je taština.”

Ps. 39:5, Ps. 62:9, Priče 4:4, Priče 4:6, Rim. 8:20  

 

Poleteo sam. Ispod su mene zlatna polja kukuruza i crna neobrađena zemlja. Odmah zatim sam iznad oblaka, veličanstven prizor. Zamislio sam se na nekoliko minuta, barem se meni činilo da je u pitanju nekoliko minuta, realno, prošlo je nekih sat vremena, pogledao sam ispod sebe i video veliki grad. Neko vreme sam leteo iznad grada. Sledeće što pamtim je glas koji objavljuje - " Dragi putnici, molimo Vas da vežete svoje pojaseve. "

London 1989

Prvi utisak je bio zapanjujući. Hitrow je zaista ogromno zdanje, veliki aerodrom u kome bi neko mogao da živi i preživi svoj život bez potrbe da odatle izađe. Setio sam se neizbežno Pekićevog "Besnila".

Dok sam čekao Jelenu, koja je trebalo po dogovoru da dođe ubrzo. Rešio sam da razgledam mnogobrojne izloge raznoraznih prodavnica i uostalom svega što je se oko mene nalazilo. Rešio sam da nešto kupim.  U prodavnici slatkiša kupio sam punjene čokoladne kuglice, lepo zapakovane u zlatni staniol. Nikada do tada nisam tako nešto probao. Danas se te čokoladne kuglice mogu kupiti i kod nas iako su dosta skupe, onima koji vole slatkiše su dobro poznate kao "Rošeove" crne ili  kokosove bele kuglice.

Ugledah Elenu. Ta devojka, godinu dana mlađa od mene, je išla samnom u istu školu, Petu Beogradsku Gimnaziju. Ja sam gimnaziju tog leta završio, diplomu pijan potpisao i “raspustio” sam se apsolutno.  Ostavio sam devojku sa kojom sam proveo čitavu četvrtu godinu. Bila je neka vrela, pijana i naduvana noć u kafe-klubu, pored teniskog igrališta na Tašmajdanu, kada sam malo bolje upozna Elenu.  To jutro smo samo ona i ja završili na 25-to’ majskim bazenima na Dorćolu. Tu sam pozvan sam u London da dođem u  goste kod nje, te simpatične i razigrane devojke koju sam iskreno jedva i poznavao ali kojoj je izgleda bila simpatična ideja da joj baš ja pravim društvo u dvospratnom stanu na West Hampstead-u, čiji je vlasnik bio njen otac. Inače apsolutno tinejdžerska posla, Elena je zapravo četiri godine išla u razred sa mojom bivšom devojkom kojou sam pomenuo.

Ja takav poziv nikako nisam mogao odbiti i sve se odigralo dan za danom. Jedne večeri sam sa njene strane bio pozvan, na jutro tog dana sam poleteo iz Beograda.

Elena je imala širok osmeh na licu. Kada me je videla, lagano je potrčala, plava negovana kosa je igrala, kada je prišla ona me zagrli i nežno me poljubi u obraz.

- Divno...predivno, šta ćemo mi sve ovde da radimo a? - pevala je. Gledao sam je iskreno i pomalo ravnodušno, pružio sam joj čokoladne bonbonice.

Desetak minuta smo se vozili crnom pokretnom trakom pre nego što smo izašli sa aerodroma.

Ubrzo sam pored Elene sedeo u gornjem delu crvenog autobusa na drugom spratu, u tom delu se moglo pušiti tako da sam u jednoj ruci držao cigaretu i u drugoj konzervu polu-litarskog piva. Bio sam veoma zadovoljan. Prizori koji su leteli ispred mene su bili takvi da sam imao želju da ih na čas pauziram i zauvek zapamtim. Svaki detalj počevši od trotoara pa do vrhova zgrada je bio sređen i doteran. Nije bilo sivih kontejnera i razbijenih telefonskih govornica, starih osušenih fasada i rupa u asfaltu.

 West Hampstead je oblast koja je sređena za dobrostojeću građansku klasu.


Stan je izgledao moderno i bio je čist. Elena me je upoznala, kako je i najavila sa momkom i devojkom iz Zagreba koji će stan deliti sa nama. Meni lično ni on niti ona nisu izgledali nimalo privlačno. Mislim da sam sa njima razmenio samo par rečenica za sve vreme koliko sam tamo bio. Sa druge strane nimalo mi nisu smetali, njihovih imena i izgleda se ne sećam.

Raspakovao sam se i odmah se osetio apsolutno slobodnim. Izašao sam napolje sam. Insistirao sam na tome. Prošetao sam se ulicom i tražio prodavnicu u kojoj mogu kupiti pivo. Moje iznenađenje je bilo veliko kada sam blizu stana našao upravo ono što sam tražio. Ne velika ali bogato opremljena prodavnica alkohola je nudila izbor kakav normalno nisam zamišljao. Jako me je obradovalo kada sam u odeljku za vina na polici naišao na etiketu na kojoj je pisalo Jugoslavija. Tu se nalazilo par buteljki nekih od naših najpoznatijih vina. Normalno nisam kupio domaće vino, već sam tražio da mi daju najjače pivo koje imaju. Prvo su mi ponudili pivo sa šest procenata alkohola ali nisam bio zadovoljan. Nakon toga ljubazni riđi prodavac mi je izneo pivo sa dvanaest procenata alkohola. Naglasio je da je to pivo sa votkom. Ljubazno sam se zahvalio i uzeo paket od deset komada.


Pijuckajući pivo naišao sam na lokalnu trafiku. Eto, ponovo malo iznenađenje. Na velikoj gomili raznoraznih novina ležala je i "Politika", mislim da sam tada prvi put u životu kupio taj dnevni list.

Pivo koje sam kupio bilo je zaista bilo žestoko i imalo je ukus upravo onakav kakvim ga je prodavac predstavio, to je bila mešavina votke i piva. Ogladneo sam i rešio da se vratim u stan kako bih naručio pizzu.

- I...? - dočekala me je Elena sa nestrpljenjem.

- Šta i ... - nisam je odmah razumeo.

- Kako ti se čini... za sada...napolju... - spustila je pogled na paket piva i nasmejala se.

- Odlično... čisto, evo tu je i "Politika". Još jednom se nasmejala.

- Hoćemo u Zoo-vrt?

- Normalo - odgovorio sam lepo, sa tim da mi je bilo sasvim svejedno gde ću ići. Rekoh samo da moram da jedem. Uzeo sam debele "Žute Strane", pronašao broj koji mi trebao i objasnio kakvu pizzu želim. Pizza je stigla za pola sata. Bilo mi je krivo što sam morao da je bacim, nešto su me razumeli pogrešno, tražio sam bogatu pizzu sa pečurkama i pavlakom a dobio sam pizzu natrpanu lukom I kobasicama. Rešio sam da kupim nešto na putu do zoo-vrta.















Sebastian Sava Gor


"EX-YU"


"Vanity of vanities, says the preacher, vanity of vanities, everything is vanity."


Ps. 39:5, Ps. 62:9, Proverbs 4:4, Proverbs 4:6, Rom. 8:20


 


I took off. Below me are golden cornfields and black uncultivated earth. Immediately afterwards I am above the clouds, a magnificent sight. I thought for a few minutes, at least it seemed to me that it was a few minutes, realistically, about an hour had passed, I looked below me and saw a big city. I flew over the city for a while. The next thing I remember is a voice announcing - "Dear passengers, please fasten your seat belts."


London 1989


The first impression was stunning. Heathrow is really a huge building, a big airport where someone could live and live their life without ever leaving. I inevitably remembered Pekić's "Besnil".


While I was waiting for Jelena, who was supposed to come soon according to the agreement. I decided to look around the numerous windows of various shops and everything that was around me. I decided to buy something. In the sweet shop, I bought filled chocolate balls, nicely wrapped in gold foil. I had never tried anything like that before. Today, those chocolate balls can be bought here, even though they are quite expensive, to those who like sweets they are well known as "Roche's" black or coconut white balls.


I saw Elena. That girl, a year younger than me, went to the same school with me, the Fifth Belgrade Gymnasium. I finished high school that summer, signed my diploma drunk and "dissolved" myself absolutely. I left the girl I spent the entire fourth year with. It was a hot, drunken and high-spirited night in a coffee club, next to the tennis court on Tašmajdan, when I got to know Elena a little better. That morning, only she and I ended up at the 25th of May pools on Dorćol. There I was invited to London alone to be her guest, that nice and playful girl whom I honestly hardly knew but who seemed to like the idea of me keeping her company in the two-story apartment in West Hampstead, whose owner he was her father. Otherwise an absolutely teenage thing, Elena actually went to class with my ex-girlfriend I mentioned for four years.


I could not refuse such an invitation and everything happened day after day. One evening I was invited by her, on the morning of that day I flew from Belgrade.


Elena had a big smile on her face. When she saw me, she ran lightly, her blonde well-groomed hair was dancing, when she approached, she hugged me and kissed me gently on the cheek.


- Wonderful...wonderful, what are we going to do here? - she sang. I looked at her sincerely and a little indifferently, I handed her chocolate candies.


We drove on the black conveyor belt for about ten minutes before we left the airport.


Soon I was sitting next to Elena in the upper part of the red bus on the second floor, in that part you could smoke, so I was holding a cigarette in one hand and a half-liter can of beer in the other. I was very pleased. The scenes that flew in front of me were such that I had the desire to pause them for a moment and remember them forever. Every detail, starting from the sidewalk to the tops of the buildings, was arranged and polished. There were no gray containers and broken telephone booths, old dried-up facades and holes in the asphalt.


  West Hampstead is an area designed for the well-to-do middle class.




The apartment looked modern and was clean. Elena met me, as she announced with a guy and a girl from Zagreb who will share the apartment with us. Personally, neither he nor she looked attractive at all. I think I only exchanged a few sentences with them in the entire time I was there. On the other hand, they didn't bother me at all, I don't seem to remember their names.

I unpacked and immediately felt absolutely free. I went outside alone. I insisted on it. I walked down the street and looked for a store where I could buy beer. My surprise was great when I found exactly what I was looking for near the apartment. Not a big but richly equipped liquor store offered a selection that I would not normally have imagined. I was very happy when in the wine section on the shelf I came across a label that said Yugoslavia. There were a couple of bottles of some of our most famous wines. Normally I didn't buy local wine, but I asked them to give me the strongest beer they had. First they offered me beer with six percent alcohol, but I wasn't satisfied. After that, a friendly ginger seller brought me beer with twelve percent alcohol. He emphasized that it was beer with vodka. I politely thanked him and took the package of ten pieces.




While sipping a beer, I came across a local tobacconist. Here, another little surprise. "Politika" was also lying on a big pile of various newspapers, I think that was the first time in my life that I bought that daily newspaper.


The beer I bought was really strong and tasted exactly as the seller presented it, it was a mixture of vodka and beer. I was hungry and decided to go back to the apartment to order a pizza.


- And...? - welcomed


Elena asked me impatiently.


- What and ... - I didn't immediately understand her.


- How do you think... for now... outside... - she looked down at the beer package and smiled.


- Excellent... clean, here is "Politika". She smiled once more.


- Do we want to go to the Zoo?


- Normal - I answered nicely, with the fact that I didn't care where I was going. I just said I had to eat. I took the thick "Yellow Pages", found the number I needed and explained what kind of pizza I wanted. The pizza arrived in half an hour. I felt guilty that I had to throw it away, they misunderstood me, I asked for a rich pizza with mushrooms and sour cream and I got a pizza stuffed with onions and sausages. I decided to buy something on the way to the zoo.

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